Culture is a funny thing...

I have always been aware of my heritage, there were always things I knew about my family and upbringing that were influenced by the fact that one parent is American and the other Lebanese.  Sometimes I would be "different" than other because I had a different perspective on life because of my knowledge of life in another country. And when I would come to Lebanon, I knew I was very different because all of the sudden I was seen only as "American".  The little things about me that stand out in one culture, blend in the other.

Culture is something that is very hard to change and very hard to adapt to. And I am finding this out the hard way.  There are certain things about me that are very "American." 1. I am stubbornly independent and just stubborn in general I suppose.  Family and community is everything here, so is apperance and impression.  While these things are also found in American culture of course, they are to a degree I haven't experienced before. 

Your family is your closest circle. Your support, your friends, your worst nightmare sometimes. Also, living in small tribe like villages has its advantages of community, friendship and safety, it also has its downsides of gossip, appearance and pain.  Lets just say, on a microscopic scale I have a new found respect for celebrities who get talked about all the time by millions of people.  Being different has its advantages, but it also exposes you to a different degree than others who "fit in".  This is something I am finding quite difficult.

Being a part of life here, instead of just a visitor has its ups and downs.  Getting used to a new culture has its ups and downs. Life has its ups and downs.  

One of the most difficult culture issues for me is also apparent in American culture, but thanks to an amazing Feminist movement and the empowerment of women in the workplace and politics it sometimes seems like the tension has faded just a little...sexism and patriarchy. Two of my least favorite words in the dictionary. Here, while girls and women have MUCH more freedoms than those in Afghanistan, Saudi Arabia and Pakistan, they also are prisoners of patriarchy.  Girls my age are always accompanied by a male family member or very close friend. They are always watched, what they wear, what they do, who they do things with.  On some level, these things are hightened for me because I dont speak the language or know my way around. But even still, my cousin Nancy is still restricted here in many ways that I never was in the states.  

My cousin Zouzou said the other day when I cleared my place after a meal "you live here now, do the dishes." My response to him: "youve lived here 18years, you do the dishes too." He didnt like this, his response: "Im a boy, I don't do dishes." So I slapped him....and then explained to him how boys are just as capable as girls to do things like dishes. Even my older cousin Sami, who is 26 has his mom make his sandwhiches at the table...you would think that someone that old can wrap his own sandwhich in pita bread...but thats culture. Their mothers do everything for them, yet the men have all the power and control to dictate life. Patriarchy....great isnt it? What happend to Matriarchical societies....oh wait! haha That is a whole other conversation that would probably get me in trouble for voicing my opinion on the subject in an open internet blog...haha :)

Enough ranting for the day....its been one of those days. Maybe next time I will list all the things we take for granted in the US...theres a lot.... :)

Much love,

Sasha